Do you ever just get frustrated by the way you are ignored every time you have something important to say to your child? I feel like I’m talking to the wall at times. I think at one point, I actually did without realising the child had got bored listening to me and went to another room. There are so many reasons for this type of behavior from your child followed by as many solutions, too.
For starters, you need to make sure you use the right tone of voice – be positive and confident about what you are saying. Try to calm yourself down a little before venturing into an argument. Go over the words you want to use once, to make sure your words are kept simple yet firm. You also need to focus on building trust and speaking the truth. Don’t exaggerate outcomes for their behavior – children are not as dumb as we think and you will just end up teaching them how to lie and not trust you. Let’s face it, they know their teeth are not going to fall out overnight by having that extra sweet for e.g.
Making continuous eye contact with your child will also keep Continue reading
As parents, it can be hard to watch your child in a situation where they are not feeling too good about themselves. Children tend to put themselves down a lot; they want to be able to do something exactly like others or they can sometimes get upset if someone is great in a certain discipline and they are not. Children can get frustrated easily, if they can’t get the hang of things straight away. They tend to think of the now moment and have no concept to look into the future.
What can we do as parents to help our children feel happy and confident with themselves and guide them that it’s not about being perfect at everything?
This is an important thing to have, as even adults tend to put themselves down with lack of self-confidence, thinking that they are not good enough and there’s no point in even attempting something. There are a few simple ways we can guide them, for example:
- Questions – Let them make decisions – like what we should have for dinner or what will we do today? Or get involved with a game they are playing and ask them to show you how to play.
- Communicating – When you are shopping or having a bite to eat, let them go to the counter and buy something or let them order their own food. Ask them to get you more napkins cutlery etc. Talk to more people when you are out and be friendly. Let them know its ok to talk to people, as long as a trusted adult is with them and obviously they know the rights and wrongs and the safety of talking to strangers.
Since becoming a parent I had never known what stress really was and how it can affect me. Parenting is such a roller-coaster of emotions and questions. There are days when I feel so high that I can take on the world and loads more kids but on the bad days when the kids are really loud or just acting bold, I find myself physically shaking, exhausted and feeling like crap and questioning myself as a parent. It always comes back to the same answer, This is my life now and I love my children and I want to be the best I can be for them.
It is important to take time for ourselves though and recharge. We are only human after all, and we do get bad days. Stress and anxiety, if not dealt with can lead to much bigger problems with illnesses and depression. Here are some ways you can manage, Continue reading
I will never forget the day I decided to lock myself in the bathroom when I was having a shower, not thinking of the consequences it was going to have. This would be the first time I had locked a bathroom door since my kids were born. I was in the shower for two minutes when all hell broke loose. My two kids started kicking and banging the door and screaming their heads off. I ran out of the bathroom still covered in soap in such a temper with them. I yelled so loud at them to stop screaming at me and told them to go straight to bed because they were being bold.
They looked at me with such little sad scared faces. Later that night when I eventually calmed down after lots of tears and soul searching I thought to myself, Who am I to be yelling and making my kids feel scared? They are only little human beings that look up to me and I came across like the big bad wolf. They were not being bold, they panicked because they felt like i’d shut them out by locking the door. This is not a way of teaching discipline to my children.
Discipline is most commonly associated with punishment Continue reading
I’ve very fond memories of my mother reading and telling stories to me at night when I was a child. She had the ‘gift of the gab’ as we say in Ireland. Now that I have my own children I can see the importance of reading to them. For me in the early stages, I found the little picture touch feel novelty books were great for helping my children with their sounds and senses. Reading to them was another way of them hearing your voice and sharing an experience together, and that for me created a nice little bond. Even if you have to point and say apple a 100 times it’s important. You’re the first voice they know and it’s a great way of communicating with them and teaching them to speak and express themselves.
As they got older the Continue reading