While toys are great and we love to find different ways to entertain our children and children love receiving gifts on their birthdays etc. I often wonder do the manufacturers make them just annoy the hell out of the parents. I urge you to think twice when buying presents for your friend’s children. Here are some things below that have just haunted me over the last few years.
The Giant Alphabet Floor Puzzle: Great, it’s an educational toy your toddler can play with as it’s multi-functional because your kid will sit down on it when they’re finished putting it together and play away happily? No it’s not. You’ll find yourself almost breaking your neck every day on letter A to G, the rest are thrown under couches, shoved into corners and I almost served the letter Q with dinner one time thinking it was a side-dish!
Anything With Glitter: It has a mind of its own. Doesn’t matter where you play with it. It gets everywhere and never ever goes away. My poor son looked like he was wearing glitter eyeshadow going to school one day.
Musical Instruments: Honestly, kids are loud enough. Having a whistle blowing in your ear at 7am in the morning and not being able to tell whether someone is putting a screwdriver in your ear is not cool. Not one bit.
Play Doh: Fun for first time. There are loads of things to make with them from little ice-creams to your favourite characters. And the next day, they are mashed into the carpet, there are flakes all over the floor and if you like the Polka Dot look fashion, that’s what your dress will look like from the back after you sit down but you won’t realise until it’s pointed out to you in the office!
Despicable Me Fart Blaster: Most ridiculous toy ever. It does one thing…one thing!
Jigsaws: The ones that contain a gazillion pieces. While I love jigsaws myself and they can be quite therapeutic, kids get bored after twenty minutes and they never get finished and they’ll always get mixed up and I don’t have an extra 10 hours in my day to sort them out and it’s guaranteed you are finding pieces for years after it!
1000 Best Jokes Book: Yep, kids might love them, but sit there and listen to your kids tell the jokes for an hour, your face begins to hurt and not with laughter. ‘Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!’ Get it? There’s 999 more of those if you want?
Science Lab: While again they sound fantastic and educational and fun. When the parent has to get involved not only having to buy the ‘extras’ Why can’t they not just supply everything you need with these things? But sitting there having to supervise for three hours in case your kid might burn the hands of themselves and spending another hour cleaning after it just so they can make a slimy eye that serves no function after ten minutes is no fun…Trust me!
Talking Toys: Those annoying creepy toys that have a life of their own that only say two things like ‘hug me’ or ‘I love you’. When you are finally sitting down and enjoying the house being quiet you hear ‘Hug me’ in a slow deep voice because the battery is wearing out is enough to get your nerves. Even worse when you can’t find the source for a week as it’s buried somewhere so you’re not sure if the house is actually haunted or there’s an exorcism being performed next door.
I’m sure I have hundreds more. If anyone has anything to add to this list would love to hear from you!
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Contact Denise at: Denisekidsstories@gmail.com