This is more of a rant than anything but was in the playground the other day and saw this little girl being just pure mean to another one. I was watching with sadness and fascination also as to where the parent was and was she going to do anything. I felt like I should intervene; don’t get me wrong, that’s the last thing I want to be doing as no one likes to be told how to raise their child. We are all different and raise our children different and we do get it wrong sometimes. There is no such thing as the perfect way to raise your child but we try as hard as we can.
Thankfully, the mother o
f the child who was being bullied came over and took the child away. When they got near to the gate the child pointed at a woman on the bench and said, “That’s the mean girl’s mammy.” The mean girl’s mother, after finally realising she had a child and that was the reason she was sitting in a playground, came over to her child and looked at me and half laughed and said, “Ah, that helicopter one should just relax, kids will be kids, let them fight it out, you know yourself.”
While I’m not the owner of the two most perfect best behaved children in the world and I’m not Mary Poppins, yes I do agree with letting kids fight things out at times as my own two are always at it and minutes later they are the best of pals. I do however watch with a careful eye that it doesn’t get out of hand. This wasn’t one of those situations though. No, it’s not a case of letting them fight it out. One child in my opinion was more dominant than the other and therefore was being a little bully and the other is being bullied. It’s a simple as that! Sometimes it’s not just playing and there is a behaviour that needs to be watched a little closer before it can escalate. Children sometimes don’t grow out of it and bullies don’t go away. I’ve seen it with teenagers, it goes on in the workforce, relationships etc. When is it time to say it is your kid who is just being horrible and mean and it’s time to step it up as a parent otherwise it could grow up to be the obnoxious bully adult also? We don’t then say, “Ah adults are adults, you know yourself.”
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I’m all on for my kids defending themselves right now at a young age . Yes, my first thing I tell them is go to an adult and let them sort it out but sometimes the adults don’t catch everything that is going on or the kids are too afraid to say it. When kids are teenagers, going to the teacher in the school or walking away (which is usually best) for eg won’t always work and there are occasions that has made it worse for them. And also being the parent of that teenage bully is hard for them too.
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I’ve seen both passive and aggressive behavior from my son. I wouldn’t go as far as saying he was bullying, but things like snatching toys from another kid at daycare. I was there a reprimanded him appropriately. I’ve also seen him be constantly bullied by another peer (he is two) which is awkward because the other parent wasn’t doing anything about their child’s behavior. I’m trying early on to teach him how to defend himself (he’s big for his age, but a gentle giant) but at the same time not start issues.
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This is so true, I’m not perfect myself and I know no mother like to be told that their child is the wrong doer, but you should watch your child, if they are bullying someone intervene! Stopping them right where they are making a wrong decision and redirecting them is teaching them that you care and want them to do the right thing. They will love you for it later!
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Exactly. While we may just think it’s kids playing, it’s not always the case and things can escalate then. It’s our job to teach them the difference of what is right and wrong at the earliest age to avoid bigger issues.
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Right on point!
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