Do you ever just get frustrated by the way you are ignored every time you have something important to say to your child? I feel like I’m talking to the wall at times. I think at one point, I actually did without realising the child had got bored listening to me and went to another room. There are so many reasons for this type of behavior from your child followed by as many solutions, too.
For starters, you need to make sure you use the right tone of voice – be positive and confident about what you are saying. Try to calm yourself down a little before venturing into an argument. Go over the words you want to use once, to make sure your words are kept simple yet firm. You also need to focus on building trust and speaking the truth. Don’t exaggerate outcomes for their behavior – children are not as dumb as we think and you will just end up teaching them how to lie and not trust you. Let’s face it, they know their teeth are not going to fall out overnight by having that extra sweet for e.g.
Making continuous eye contact with your child will also keep him attentive while you speak but make sure you’re not just repeating yourself and it just seems like you’re nagging. Like us all, that’ll just go over their head.
Here are a few things you can adapt to and witness the change in your child’s behavior, yourself:
Wait till you have your child’s full attention
Connecting before you start speaking is essential. If you wait for them to look at you while you’re talking, it will just give them the impression that it’s okay to ignore. You cannot even expect to shout across the room, and expect the message to reach the child. Try to move in close before you talk and ensure eye contact.
Be mindful of your words
Try your best to avoid any words which might be confusing or difficult for your child to understand. Keep it simple and positive.
Share his point of view
If he is doing something he likes, or is really indulged in, sometimes, just wait for him to finish. Don’t make him forfeit his priority and interest for you. This will not only teach him respecting other people’s space, but he won’t develop a negative attitude towards your contact.
No one, including yourself, likes getting ordered around. Make the communication a two way process and even make chores seem like fun by using positive words. Try giving options to your child so that it doesn’t sound like an order. Ordering only creates more resistance and you do not want that to happen.
Children make mistakes. They’re still learning and you can’t expect them to be perfect. Even adults are not perfect. If they mess up, help them out of the mess instead of scolding them on why they didn’t do what you asked them to. Later on, when everything is cleared up, you can talk to them about how things got out of control and how they can improve their behavior and actions in order to prevent it from ever happening again.
Patience is the key to parenting, yet a very rare one to find. It’s all a journey with many different places. You need to learn to deal with children according to their own mindset so that they are not overpowered by your presence and feel insecure about you.
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