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Spanking and Effects On Child And Parent

While the method of spanking children or corporal punishment has been going on for years as a form of discipline, is it really the answer to punishment for children? Do we hit adults every time they act up or step out of line? My guess is no, so why is it OK to lash out at a child? What would people say to bullies in school “Pick on someone your own size” So therefore, as parents are we not doing the same thing hitting someone who is smaller and vulnerable?

Spanking

Is a common practice amongst parents but what some parents don’t realise is that spanking can have adverse impacts on the child. Parents, should, therefore, try their level best to refrain from spanking their children because not only does it have short term effects but long term impacts on the child as well.

Non-Compliance In Short and Long Run

One of the biggest and major impacts that spanking has on the child is that they become non-compliant in both the short and long run. Non-compliance can affect the child in more than one way. It can cause them to become severely stubborn and not oblige to the demands of the parents. Moreover, non-compliance may also cause their behaviours to get affected in the short and long term. They may start to act disaccording to their demands and commands. Non-compliance is a serious and major concern of spanking that can have serious impacts on the child and affect their mental and physical health altogether.

Affects The Child’s Emotional Centre

Spanking also affects the child’s emotional centre of the brain, the part of the brain that necessitates learning and understanding both. Once the child is spanked, their brain goes into an alarm mode. Therefore, a child may suffer in more than one way due to spanking, which will affect his ability to talk, to perceive and to react.

scaredMakes The Child Anti-Social

The more the child is spanked, the more the child will become anti-social. According to a research by Straus, Sugarman, and Giles- Sims, 1997, the anti-social behaviour amongst children will increase when they are spanked. Therefore, the more they get hit, the more they are also likely to hit others including their spouses. It may also cause them to not go out in public, affecting their personalities in both the short and long term.

Depression

Along with anti-social behaviour, the child may also exhibit increasing chances of depression and reduced mental health with spanking. Expect your child to stop talking and be in a very deep state of depression, sadness and loneliness once he is spanked. Depression has serious and major consequences for children in both the short and long run and it is one of the major effects of spanking.stop-1131142_640

Aggression In Children

Children who are spanked may develop a huge sense of aggression in them. Spanking may cause the child to become violent, it may cause the child to exhibit extremely aggressive behavior and this may have serious impacts on the people around the child as well.

Poor Relationship With Parents

Spanking leads to the development of a poor relationship with parents. Poor mental health, aggression, and anti-social behavior are all things that have a severe negative impact on the child and their relationship with the parents.

Therefore, spanking is a no go for children because it has serious and major disadvantages for them. Spanking can lead to emotional and physical abuse in the children which causes their behaviours to get affected adversely. With such long term and short term impacts of spanking, experts advise parents to refrain from it.

Alternatives

While a child may provoke you to lose your temper and I’ve been there, however there are other alternatives that don’t involve spanking. It has never been proven it’s an effective method of discipline compared to other ways.  Each situation is different so try to find logical consequences.

Whatever age the child is whether it’d be putting them on a bold step, taking toys away, not taking them on that play date or if they are older grounding them etc.

Sometimes it could be their behaviour goes deeper down so try find out why they are acting the way they are if it’s a constant thing and listen to them.

Try to stay calm and if possible walk away for a moment. Sometimes it’s easier said than done and it’s just the first reaction that we want to lash out but it doesn’t help parent or child in the long run. No one feels good after that and the situation is made worse then but there are other methods that will have a more positive outcome.

 

Children’s Books by Denise McCabe are available by clicking  here  or pop across to  My Books section to have a further look 

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Contact Denise at: Denisekidsstories@gmail.com
Website: www.kids-games-activities.com
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Most Annoying Toys Ever!

While toys are great and we love to find different ways to entertain our children and children love receiving gifts on their birthdays etc. I often wonder do the manufacturers make them just annoy the hell out of the parents.  I urge you to think twice when buying presents for your friend’s children. Here are some things below that have just haunted me over the last few years.

The Giant Alphabet Floor Puzzle: Great, it’s an educational toy your toddler can play with as it’s multi-functional because your kid will sit down on it when they’re finished putting it together and play away happily? No it’s not. You’ll find yourself almost breaking your neck every day on letter A to G, the rest are thrown under couches, shoved into corners  and I almost served the letter Q with dinner one time thinking it was a side-dish!

Anything With Glitter: It has a mind of its own. Doesn’t matter where you play with it. It gets everywhere and never ever goes away. My poor son looked like he was wearing glitter eyeshadow going to school one day.

Musical Instruments: Honestly, kids are loud enough. Having a whistle blowing in your ear at 7am in the morning and not being able to tell whether someone is putting a screwdriver in your ear is not cool. Not one bit.music-148238_640

Play Doh: Fun for first time. There are loads of things to make with them from little ice-creams to your favourite characters. And the next day, they are mashed into the carpet, there are flakes all over the floor and if you like the Polka Dot look fashion, that’s what your dress will look like from the back after you sit down but you won’t realise until it’s pointed out to you in the office!

Despicable Me Fart Blaster: Most ridiculous toy ever. It does one thing…one thing!

Jigsaws: The ones that contain a gazillion pieces. While I love jigsaws myself and they can be quite therapeutic, kids get bored after twenty minutes and they never get finished and they’ll always get mixed up and I don’t have an extra 10 hours in my day to sort them out and it’s guaranteed you are finding pieces for years after it!

1000 Best Jokes Book: Yep, kids might love them, but sit there and listen to your kids tell the jokes for an hour, your face begins to hurt and not with laughter. ‘Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!’ Get it? There’s 999 more of those if you want?

Lego:The ones that contain a 100 million tiny pieces. Just walk around the house with no shoes once and you’ll know all about it. Say no more!lego-blocks-1645504_640

Science Lab: While again they sound fantastic and educational and fun. When the parent has to get involved not only having to buy the ‘extras’ Why can’t they not just supply everything you need with these things? But sitting there having to supervise for three hours in case your kid might burn the hands of themselves and spending another hour cleaning after it just so they can make a slimy eye that serves no function after ten minutes is no fun…Trust me!doll-1640841_640

Talking Toys: Those annoying creepy toys that have a life of their own that only say two things like ‘hug me’ or ‘I love you’. When you are finally sitting down and enjoying the house being quiet you hear ‘Hug me’ in a slow deep voice because the battery is wearing out is enough to get your nerves. Even worse when you can’t find the source for a week as it’s buried somewhere so you’re not sure if the house is actually haunted or there’s an exorcism being performed next door.

I’m sure I have hundreds more. If anyone has anything to add to this list would love to hear from you!

Children’s Books by Denise McCabe are available by clicking  here  or pop across to  My Books section to have a further look 

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Contact Denise at: Denisekidsstories@gmail.com
Website: http://www.kids-games-activities.com

 

 

 

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What Being a Mother Means

I was having another one of those days where I was rambling after a hectic day running back and forth with the kids, house being a complete mess and the only culinary delight I was capable of serving was a boiled egg. My friend said to me, “You make this whole parenting thing sound crazy, it’d be enough to put you off! Is there anything good about it?” I thought about that for a minute and I wasn’t too sure how to answer. All I could say was, “Ah, don’t mind me; It’s not as scary as I make it out. It has its good sides.”

So what does being a mother mean to me? The first time I saw my first born to describe the feeling was just overwhelming. I took one look at him in the hospital and almost frightened myself of the change of emotions. I knew there and then there was nothing at all in the world I wouldn’t do. At that moment I had no fear of my own mortality as I knew I wouldn’t hesitate to do anything for them. I knew things in me had changed forever.

I’ve learned what unconditional love actually means.  While relationships will come and go people have their arguments, couples change as they get older or friends drift apart, a child is always your child. There are days they can play havoc with your head and I can be a complete emotional wreck with them but it doesn’t change the way I feel about them and it never will.  I’m always going to be their mother and they are a part of me and always will be forever.

Being proud as there is nothing like that moment when you see your child in their first school play or when they walk or talk for the first time or when they are coming out of the school gates waving their artwork or the spelling test they passed etc. I’m just proud that I was there to watch them achieve things.

Knowing the value of what time is. Before I had children I wouldn’t think twice about sitting around all weekend just watching movie after movie after being out partying all night beforehand for example. I justified it as I worked all week so I deserved it right?  Looking back now, I realised the amount of hours I wasted sometimes. My kids are growing up fast in front of me and life goes fast and we only have one chance at it so don’t sit around just waiting for things to happen.

Mastering the correct tone of voice to repeat things only five times instead of ten and being happy I achieved something.optimism_design4_04

More self-awareness and learning about myself every day as a person and accepting there is no such thing as perfection. We all make mistakes. We all get it wrong at times but rather than over judging all the time I try now to learn from it to make it better and move on. This doesn’t mean I won’t make new mistakes after it though.

Learning never to be smug as there are days my kids would really do me proud and they can be street angels and I’m glad to show them off. They would be that child that would hold the door open for someone and be polite. Other days they could be those kids in the supermarket that are screaming and pulling each other’s hair out because I forgot whose turn it was to use the trolley token!

It’s nice to sit back and see the world through their eyes at times. Sometimes the world is too rushed with people flying around going nowhere and not stopping to just take a moment and breathe and look at the simple little things in life that can bring happiness. It’s amazing looking at the joy on their faces when they are just sitting there playing house with a cardboard box or watching the happy content look on their face when they are eating an ice-cream or listening to them whispering and giggling to each other knowing they are going to play a prank on me or just simply going out and sitting on that swing with them.

I am proud to being the first role model in their life that can teach them importance of being an empathetic human being. I can be there to help guide them through life to hopefully make the right choices and be the person they want to be. I can teach them independence and the difference of right from wrong.

Being less selfless and not thinking twice about putting your own your wants and needs aside because my children always come first no matter what.

Having the annoying theme tune of Sponge Bob for e.g. going through my head for at least two days and being ok with it.

Having a better understanding and appreciation of my own mother more and understanding everything she was trying to tell me was for my own benefit.

Learning when to switch different roles and knowing the moments I need to discipline them for their behaviour or know when to say ‘enough is enough’. I can’t always be that ‘cool parent’ and be their friend all the time. I have a responsible role to play as an adult too.

Constantly being mentally exhausted and forgetting the kids names at times but yet at same time, getting on with it.

Multitasking and having two completely different conversations with my kids at once while in the middle of cooking dinner and planning out the next day’s events and still trying to remember if I can recite the alphabet.

The constant fear I live with that I can’t prevent their pain and heartbreak they will encounter in life but just hoping I will be there to pick them up when they do.sky-721912_640

Being sad and happy of the day I’ll watch them leaving the nest. It’s an emotional roller-coaster and I just hope I can sit back and know I’ve done the best I could for them to live full independent and happy lives and being grateful that I was one of the lucky ones of having the opportunity to be part of it.

 

Children’s Books by Denise McCabe are available by clicking  here  or pop across to  My Books section to have a further look 

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Contact Denise at: Denisekidsstories@gmail.com

Website: http://www.kids-games-activities.com

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Gubble Bubble Kingdom

A story for your children to listen to.

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Children’s Books by Denise McCabe are available by clicking  here  or pop across to  My Books section to have a further look 

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Contact Denise at: Denisekidsstories@gmail.com

Website: http://www.kids-games-activities.com

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Is Your Kid The Bully?

This is more of a rant than anything but was in the playground the other day and saw this little girl being just pure mean to another one. I was watching with sadness and fascination also as to where the parent was and was she going to do anything. I felt like I should intervene; don’t get me wrong, that’s the last thing I want to be doing as no one likes to be told how to raise their child. Continue reading

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Book Review. Help! I’m a Father, by Mark Hearn

This is a review of Help! I’m a Father, by Mark Hearn.  This book offers some great for tips advice on parenting and from a father’s point of view from birth to adult.

When I was pregnant with my first child I read all the standard books on parenting and I thought I had it all sussed until the actual reality set in. No one really told me about the actual little day to day events that will occur that I just wasn’t prepared for.

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There is no one set rule for parenting Continue reading

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Prevent Your Child From  Drug Abuse and Addiction

Drugs as we know have and still are a huge problem in today’s society. The other week I was gobsmacked though after having a conversation with a friend of mine about her teenage son that had started secondary school. He came home and told her about a boy who had got caught selling drugs in the school hallway. He then went on to tell her how the kids are easily buying drugs online and arranging meet ups.

This boy was around 12 years of age. I was absolutely horrified. When you send your children to school Continue reading